The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE.
The first pie chart compares ways of energy use in each family in Australian, and the second chart illustrates the result of greenhouse gas emissions due to energy use. It is noticeable that general heating is the main energy consumer in the country. However, water heating turns out to account for the largest proportion among the categories of greenhouse gas emissions. 42% of household energy is spent on normal heating, while the second figure is of water heating, at 30%. The third ranking energy source consumption is the unidentified household electric equipment, with a halved percentage at 15% of water heating, but almost doubles the proportion of refrigeration, with only 7%. Lighting and cooling record negligible amounts, with the former at 4% and the latter at 2%. Water heating is the main reason of greenhouse gas emissions, with 32%, doubling the proportion of daily heating, with 15%. The "other" appliances account for 28%, which is twice the emissions by refrigeration, with 14%. Similarly, emissions generated by lighting is more than twofold the figure caused by cooling, at 8% compared to 3%.
This is good, it just needs a little touch-up. The structure is commendable. The introduction and main body are well developed. Your linkage of the paragraphs and ideas within the paragraphs is good.
The description is good. The introduction introduces the data presented. In the main body, the extraction of the data is exhaustive. You made a good description and comparison of the data though the comparison can even be better and more advanced than this, especially in the second main body paragraph. Compare this “42% of household energy is spent on normal heating, 12% more than water heating, at 30%. Unidentified household electric equipment accounted for the third highest, at 15%, half the percentage of water heating, but almost doubles the proportion of refrigeration, with only 7%. Lighting and cooling record negligible amounts, with the former at 4% and the latter at 2%.” The comparison in the last paragraph is good.
The use of language is good save for the simple errors. There are some good sentence structures and vocabulary though you can still use more.
In all, a good presentation, just make more advanced comparison of the data and avoid the simple errors. The structure and description of the data are good.