TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE. 1

The first bar chart compares the main causes for different aged students to study, and (while) the second bar chart illustrates the proportion of time off and finacial (financial) support from their employers.

The crucial reason for younger people to study is career, while those relatively older groups consider of (Omit it) interest as their motivation. We also can see that younger people tend to obtain the highest emplayer (employer) support among the different ages.

Young students aged less than 26 exhibites (exhibits) the strongest willing (will) to study for career, with about 80%, while least of them put interest into consideration, at a mere 10%. People tend to study with less career goal but more interest bound with (as) the age increase (increases). To be specific, 70% for career and 15% for interest when aged 26-29, and 58% for career and 24% for interest when aged 30-39, until an equal figure at their (Omit it) age (ages) between 40 and 49, shared (sharing) 40% each. More people take interest as the priority reason to keep on studying when they (Omit it) aged 49 above.

Moving to the second bar chart, employers prefer to support most young people under 26 (young people under 26 most), at almost 65%. Following that, supporting (support) will be reduced by a full 10% for people aged between 26 and 29. The least support will be given when people reach age between 30 and 39. Since then, employers will offer more time off and fees for people grouped from (between) 40 to (and) 49, and (while) around 55% is (were) likely to be supported by their employers. COMMENTS. Though the description is good, it is littered with grammar errors. Some errors show a lack of careful proofreading, for example, you wrote “finacial” instead of “financial”, “exhibites” instead of “exhibits”. There are some verb tense errors too, You need to be so keen with the number of subject, that is, if the subject is singular or plural. This dictates the verb conjugation. Also mind the use of conjunctions. There is need for more lexical resources too. Some sentences would have been good but affected by the grammar errors. The subject matter is good. Your introduction is well developed, it hints on the data presented in the bars. The description in the main body is relatively good. Your extraction of the data is exhaustive. You made some good comparisons though you can make even more. The structure is good because you developed an introduction and main body. The response is well organized. The transition between paragraphs is good though the cohesion within the paragraphs is affected by the grammar errors in some parts. In all, the grammar errors are quite many. The structure and description of the data are good. Use some more lexical resources.

TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE. 2