The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The pie chart compares the reasons of land degradation worldwide, and the table compares different factors which affected North America, Europe and Oceania in the twenty (twentieth) century. It is clear that overgrazing was by far the main cause of worldwide land degradation as over the pie chart shows. Europe had a higher proportion of land degradation than the other areas. According to the pie chart, overgrazing was the primary reason of land degradation in the world, at 35%, while deforestation ranked the second, with 30%. Over-cultivation was responsible for 28% of land degradation, and 7% was the lowest share for unidentified reasons. Looking at the table, Europe reported the largest proportion of total land degradation among the three regions, with 23%, which was almost twice the percentage Oceanic lost and more than four times of the figure of North America. To be specific, deforestation in Europe was the principle problem, with 9.8%, fivefold the magnitude of Oceania (,) while North America experienced a negligible amount. Another significant cause in Europe was over-cultivation, with 7.7%, whereas America counted for half, when (yet) this was not a problem in Oceania. By contrast, overgrazing was a severe proportion in Oceania, reducing productivity by 11.3% while North America saw a minimal 1.5% and Europe recorded 5.5%.
This is far better than the previous response though you still made some simple grammar errors. If you can be so keen when reading through the essay, you can avoid such errors. At least there are some good sentence structures and vocabulary. You however need to use more, especially for comparison and description of the data. “As exhibited in the pie chart, overgrazing dwarfed the other causes of worldwide land degradation, with Europe having an exorbitant proportion compared to other areas.” When you use more lexical resources, you exhibit your level of language knowledge and usage. The subject matter is good. Your introduction introduces the data well. In the main body, you made a good description of the data. The third and fourth main body paragraphs compare the data quite well, though in the third, more advanced comparison can be made. You made an exhaustive extraction of the data too. The structure of the response is commendable. The introduction and main body are well developed. The cohesion is good too. You linked the paragraphs well, though you can still use more advanced link words or phrases. For example, “ Notably, overgrazing was by far the most outrageous ………..”. “Suffice to note, the table exhibits Europe as having a lofty proportion of land degradation ………”. These link words or phrases add more to the coherence of the response. You linked the ideas well in the main body. In all, the structure is good, but avoid the simple errors. You made an exhaustive extraction of the data, and compared it quite well too.