In this section, you will have 30 minutes to write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue.

Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with? Explain why.

TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE.

Many excellent students in (at) a (Omit the article) college are usually distinguished in their high school (schools) and it seems that a good student in high school may also be a good student in (at) a (Omit the article) college. Such a fact leads some people to generate the idea that higher education should be available only to good students because it will be more efficient. However, as far as I am concerned, a (Omit the article) college or university education should be opened (open)to all students. For starters, there is not a specific definition of a "good student". If a student can get a good grade, is he or she a good student? If a student can speak multiple languages, is he or she a good student? So we have to admit that the definition of good students is very vague, which means that we cannot judge a student only by some standards. Nowadays, many universities are pursuing diversity of the students (student diversity). If you simply say this student is bad because he/ (or) she cannot do the (Omit it)math quickly, you are killing the diversity and it is also not fair for this student, because he/ (or)she might be a gifted painter. Since there is not a standard of "good students", I do not think that the opinion that only good ones can get higher education is convincing. Nevertheless, though some (Omit it) sundry people believe that if only good students can be allowed to get the (Omit it) higher education, the education system can be more efficient because states can allocate less resources to it, ironically, it will not help countries to save some (Omit it)money in the long run. More people to get the (Omit) higher education means more skilled and experienced workers in many fields especially for some industrial areas. These workers can be more creative and are able to solve problems more efficiently by applying what they have learnt in college or university. Take the case of China, which was a very poor country in (the) 1970 (1970s). After the (When)China began to give all people a chance to go to the university by taking a yearly held exam, many people got the (Omit) higher education. With more and more graduated (graduate) students entering society and working in many industries, many fields began to thirve (thrive).Aslo (Also), with many well-trained and high quality workers, China has been (became) attractive to many international companies ever since. Had it not been for China's decision to give everyone a chance to go to college, China would not make (have made) so much progress. In a nutshell, I strongly feel that all students should be allowed to go to university or college.(,) Because (because) we cannot tell good from bad and also this can help the country to be more productive.

COMMENTS.

The response is good, and surely shows a good understanding of the topic though it is littered with many grammar errors. Most prominent is the poor use of articles, especially the definite article. The definite article ‘the” is called so because it makes the subject definite, that is, it is best used when the subject is known, specific or has been already talked about in the sentence. In many parts of the essay, the subjects for which you used the definite article is are general subjects. For example, “the higher education” means a specific higher education, yet actually higher education varies. Avoid spelling errors and never use slashes “/” in a formal essay like this. It is better to use a conjunction rather than a slash. Most of these are very simple errors that can be addressed if you carefully read through the essay. There are some good sentence structures however, more vocabulary is needed.

The structure is standard for a TOEFL presentation. You developed an introduction, main body and conclusion. The response is well organized too. There is good cohesion within the paragraphs. You also made good transition between paragraphs.

The subject matter is good. You developed a good introduction. Your stand is well stated and understood. In the main body, the views you have presented are relevant. You developed good topic sentences at the beginning of the main body paragraphs. The explanations and examples are convincing. The conclusion sums the discussion well.

In all, this is a good TOEFL presentation however, you still make grammar errors. The structure is good. The subject matter is relevant.