TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE 1.

The bar charts gives (give)information about percentage changes in each household expenditure in five different unban areas worldwide (Omit it) over a period of 12 years (as) compared with the figure in 1989.

It is clear that more cities were reporting with (Omit it) lower prices spent in an average house in the first five years span, while only one area (city)recorded a reducing (reduced) amount of house prices in the later seven years. Also, the later period witnessed a dramatic increase in a specific city. From 1990 to 1995, New York (USA) witnessed a significantly (significant) 5% decrease, and about 7.5% both in (in both) Tokyo (Japan) and London (UK). By contrast, the average house prices increased slightly in two cities, with 1.5% in Madrid (Spain) and 2% in Frankfurt (Germany) respectively.

The period 1996-2002 exhibited a different data. To be specific, all cities showed a climbing amount (an increased figure) with the exception of Tokyo (Japan), reporting a decrease (decreased) proportion, at 5%. New York (USA) and Madrid (Spain) accounted for almost a similar considerably (considerably similar) amount, with the former at 5% and the latter at 4%, following (followed) by the percentage of Frankfurt (Germany), at a mere 1.5%. Suffice to note, London (UK) hiked the highest proportion among the five cities, at up to roughly 11%. COMMENTS. The response shows a good understanding of the topic however, you have made a number of grammar errors. You need to be so careful with verb tense coordination in sentences. You should know what tense to use when describing data presented in past years. At some point you used poor diction. Sometimes some words might seem suitable but actually not given the sentence structure and subject. For example, “a climbing amount, with the exception of Tokyo (Japan),”. It is better to use “an increased figure, with the exception of Tokyo (Japan).” Instead of “The period 1996-2002 exhibited a different data. To be specific, all cities showed a climbing amount, with the exception of Tokyo (Japan),” you could have written, “As exhibited, the figures between 1996-2002 surged in all cities except Tokyo (Japan).”. Your sentence structures are affected by the grammar errors in some parts. You need to use more vocabulary when describing and comparing the data. The introduction hints on the data presented well. The description in the main body is basically good. The extraction of the data is exhaustive. You did describe the data well. You also made good comparison of the data presented. The structure is good because you developed an introduction and main body. Though the response is well organized, the cohesion within the paragraphs is affected by the grammar errors in some parts. The transition between paragraphs is good. In all, grammar errors are still an issue of concern. The structure and description of the data in the main body are good. Use some more vocabulary.

TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE 2.