TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE. 1

I agree the following statement, because formerly teachers just few in a town or a country, teachers are clever, and society in the past, every people want find the teacher and they want teacher teached their children. (I agree with the statement because in the past teachers were few and deemed clever, in that everybody wanted to find a teacher for their children.) In (During) the World War II, students don't (did not) have good environment to study, For the teachers at that time, teaching was a very dangerous thing, but they still chose to teach for the sake of the future of the (a) country. At that time, the teachers treated their students as if they were their (own) children, and for the children and their parents, the teachers were like heroes, saving them in another (a) way. Now, teachers have become common, every school has enough teachers, it is common for teachers to teach, at the same time, not every teacher is necessarily a good teacher, because teachers may make mistakes, in China, there is a time when parents send gifts to teachers and hope teachers to pay more attention to their children. (Nowadays, teachers are so common that every school has enough teachers however, not all teachers are good as some make mistakes. In China, there was a time parents sent teachers gifts in the hope of teachers paying more attention to their kids.) This is a reasonable thing for parents who cherish their children, but for a teacher, it is (a) taboo, as a teacher should not accept any gifts from students or teachers (parents). In the past, this kind of thing was impossible, because the teachers at that time did not have so many rules, every teacher teaching is for the students to grow up, even if there are parents to send gifts, but also forced to them after their refusal, to now seriously want to teach a lot of teachers, want to teach students to make money teachers also have, (In the past, this kind of thing was impossible as there were many rules for teachers, and their aim was to help students grow morally upright. Even when parents gave them gifts, they refused them. However today, teachers want to teach as many students as possible because they want to make money.) However, for me, my current course is also very interesting. Each class is a different teacher, just like stepping into the society. At the same time, although I agree with this view, I also think that every teacher should be a teacher no matter what other needs he/ (or)she has. But they should be respected for being in the job.

COMMENTS.

Structure: The response should be well structured. You need to develop good distinct paragraphs that are well separated or spaced. The essay should have an introduction that shows interpretation of the topic, the main body that discusses the views that support your stand, and the conclusion that sums the discussion and restates your stand about the topic. The lack of a good structure and conclusion have affected the score greatly.

Language usage: The use of language should be better than this. You have made a number of grammar errors some of which have affected the understanding of ideas. For example, at times you used long sentences like “Now, teachers have become common, every school has enough teachers, it is common for teachers to teach, at the same time, not every teacher is necessarily a good teacher, because teachers may make mistakes, in China, there is a time when parents send gifts to teachers and hope teachers to pay more attention to their children.” in which ideas are poorly connected. It is a run-on sentence too because the subject “teacher” is poorly presented many times. Compare with “Nowadays, teachers are so common that every school has enough teachers however, not all teachers are good as some make mistakes. In China, there was a time parents sent teachers gifts in the hope of teachers paying more attention to their kids.”. There are two ideas in one sentence, so you had to separate them, that is, “teachers being common” and “parents giving gifts to teachers”. You should avoid contractions in a formal essay because some have more than one meaning. This can confuse the reader. You should be so careful when reading through the essay.

Subject matter: The subject matter is relatively good however, the introduction should be better than this. Start with interpreting the topic then state your stand in the thesis statement. Compare your introduction with “Society today accords different respect to teachers than it was in past times. There are sundry reasons for the change of thought about teachers nowadays however, I do partake teachers were more appreciated in the past than in contemporary society.” Note that in this introduction, I first make reference to the main aspects of the topic, “teachers”, “respect”, “nowadays” and “past”. This is to say, in your introduction, first show good interpretation of the main aspects of the topic before you state your stand in the thesis statement. You do have some good views in the main body however, the topic sentences should be better. The first sentence of a main body paragraph is called a topic sentence because it should have the idea to be discussed in that particular paragraph. For example, you should have started the first main body paragraph, “The study environment in the past was not as good as it is today.” This would have been better. The explanations and examples are good but affected by the grammar errors. The response lacks a good distinct conclusion. In the conclusion, no new ideas are presented. Just sum the discussion and restate your stand.

Cohesion and coherence: The cohesion should be better. The response lacks specific paragraphs and this has affected the cohesion. The grammar errors have affected the cohesion too.

Lexical resources: A response like this should have more lexical resources. Try to use more vocabulary.

In all, the lack of a standard structure and the grammar errors have affected the score. The subject matter is relatively good though the explanations and examples have been affected by the grammar errors.

TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE 2.