TEST TAKER'S RESPONSE.

I agree with the statement that people should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. Engaging in activities outside of work can have numerous benefits for individuals both physically and mentally.

Firstly, participating in hobbies or physical activities that differ from one's work can provide a much-needed break and help alleviate stress. Work often involves mental and sometimes physical exertion, which can lead to burnout and decreased productivity over time. By taking time to relax with hobbies or engage in physical activities, individuals can recharge their energy levels and rejuvenate their minds. This break from work-related tasks allows them to return to their job with renewed focus and increased efficiency.

Secondly, hobbies and physical activities outside of work can promote a healthy work-life balance. In today's fast-paced and demanding work environments, it's (it is) easy for individuals to become consumed by their professional responsibilities, neglecting their personal lives. However, by dedicating time to hobbies or physical activities, people can maintain a sense of fulfillment and enjoyment beyond their work. This balance is essential for overall well-being and can prevent feelings of monotony or dissatisfaction in the long run.

Furthermore, engaging in hobbies or physical activities unrelated to work can stimulate creativity and foster personal growth. Exploring new interests or pursuing passions outside of one's professional field can lead to new perspectives and ideas. This can enhance problem-solving skills and encourage innovative thinking, benefiting individuals in their work as well. Additionally, hobbies and physical activities provide opportunities for personal development, skill acquisition, and self-expression, contributing to a more well-rounded and fulfilled individual.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that people should prioritize taking time to relax with hobbies or engage in physical activities that are different from their work. By doing so, individuals can alleviate stress, achieve a healthy work-life balance, stimulate creativity, and foster personal growth. Balancing work and personal interests leads to a more fulfilling and rewarding life overall.

RATER'S COMMENTS.

BAND 27

This is a very commendable presentation. There are however a few things to look at.

The structure is standard for a TOEFL presentation. You have developed an introduction, main body and conclusion. The essay is well organized, with good transition between paragraphs. There is good cohesion within the paragraphs too.

The subject matter is good and relevant. You developed a good introduction though it needs to be more advanced than this. Start with paraphrasing the topic or stating what you understand about the topic. Look at the following introduction:

“Jobs are quite a take when it comes to personal social life and health, thus requiring a different aspect of life altogether. Admittedly, sundry people love relaxing while doing the same things they do at work however, I do envisage taking time off doing hobbies and physical activities different from work a noble call.”

You should not start your introduction with stating your side of the task, this should come in the last sentence or thesis statement. The above example starts with what I understand of the task and ends with what y stand about the task is.

The discussion in the main body is good. You developed good topic sentences and explained the views convincingly. The conclusion is well stated too.

Your use of language is good. You developed good sentence structures. You should however use more advanced link words or phrases at the beginning of sentences. Also avoid using contractions in a formal essay because some have more than one meaning. For example, “it’s” can mean “it is” or “it has” and this can be confusing.

In all, a good response to the topic. The structure and use of language are good though more vocabulary can be used. The subject matter is relevant.