IELST ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 1.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

TASK RESPONSE.

The pie charts exhibit the amount of revenue and expenditures in 2016 for a children’s charity in the USA.

Overall, donated food accounted for the majority of the income, while program services accounted for the highest expenditure. Total revenue sources soared above outgoings.

In detail, donated food brought in a towering amount of the revenue, accruing to 86% compared to expenditures, whose program services accounted for a lofty percentage of outgoings, at 95.8%. Community contributions, were the second largest revenue source for the charity, accounting for 10.4% of overall income, almost 8.2% higher than program revenue that hauled in a mere 2.2%. Investment income, government grants, and other income were minimal sources of revenue, fetching in only 0.8% combined. Fundraising and management, and general, accounted for 2.6% and 1.6% respectively for the charity.

The summation amount of income the charity accumulated was $53,561,580, just adequate cover the expenditures of $53,224,896.

WORDS 150

2 comments

Comments (2)

katembedavid

May 30, 2023

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Yemen：

In 2000, the population aged 15 to 59 years and under 14 years of age approximately ouucupied all of the ratio of population in Yemen, while the proportion of the population over 60 years of age was slightly. However，projection show that in 2050 the population aged 15 to 59 years will increase to 42.3% and take over of the ratio of population in 0-11 years of age. Relatively population over 60 years age will increased to 5.7%.

Italy：

The age of population mianly focused on range 15 to 59 years of age，with a low ratio percentage aged under 14. In 2050 the population aged over 60 will increased significantly to 42.3 while aged under 14 will fall into 11.5%.

Comparison：

Both the two contries population are focus vary from 15 to 59 years of age. Population aged under 14 years age in Yemen is far more than that in Italy，while population aged over 60 years age in Yemen is far less than that in Italy

ORACLE

May 30, 2023

Replying to

Structure: The essay should have a good standard structure. You need to develop an introduction, overall general statement and a main body. The subtitles “Yemen”, “Italy” and “comparison” are not needed. You also need to organize the essay well by spacing the paragraphs more.

Language usage: You made a number of grammar errors. Some texts like “all of the ratio of population in Yemen,” could not be understood in relation to the rest of the sentence. You also need to avoid poor use of prepositions and avoid formation errors like “The age of population mianly focused on range 15 to 59 years of age”. There are some spelling errors too.

Subject matter: The essay should have a good introduction that hints on the data presented in the pie charts. You then develop a good overall statement that sums the main aspects of the data presented. You have tried to describe the data of the two countries but instead of developing a specific paragraph for comparisons, you should have compared the data within the first two paragraphs. For example, “Yemen had the highest population of people aged ………… compared to Italy whose population in that category accounted for…………”. The extraction of the data is good.

Cohesion and coherence: The paragraphs should be better linked rather than using subtitles. The cohesion within the paragraphs is affected by the grammar errors in many parts.

Lexical resources: You need to use more vocabulary in your response.

In all, the structure is not standard and there are many grammar errors. This has affected the score greatly. You need to make good comparison of the data presented and use more vocabulary too.

SAMPLE ESSAY.

The pie charts exhibit data of differing people’s ages in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions five decades later.

As arrayed, people aged between 0 and 14 will lessen in both countries over the 50-year period, while the figure of those over 60 years will hike. Also, people aged 15 to 59 will remain a significantly enormous percentage in 2050 in both countries.

In 2000, a lofty population in Yemen was between 0-14 years, at 50.1%, compared to Italy whose population in this category was 14.3%. By 2050, the percentage of people 0-14 years will dwindle to 37.0.3% in Yemen, and by around 11.5 in Italy. By contrast, both countries will see a leap of people aged 60 years and more, from an extremely low rate at 3.6% to merely 5.7% in Yemen and from 24.1% to 42.3% in Italy.

Ages between 15 and 59 years old accounted for 46.3% in 2000, the second highest in Yemen, however, in 2050, it will account for the lion’s share in the country, predicted to spiral to 57.3%. Suffice to note, the same category will wane in Italy, from 61.6% in 2000 to 46.2% in 2050 respectively.

NB: The words in bold exhibit vocabulary usage.

R A C L E

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IELST ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 1.

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